ive been away. but now i'm back!
i dunno, i guess i've been eating normal. like 1000-1500cals a day. and walking 30-45 mins a day.
currently watching america's got talent. wishing i had a talent.
.........
omg i actually love german people. ive been going to this summer thing..kinda like a summer camp, but not.
well anyways, its mainly for foreigners, but my friend and i got in for free through our school, so yeah there are so many germans and they are so nice. tottally not what i expected, and the guys..woooaah! :P
but the girls are so pretty and skinny, the boys drool over them :(
there is this girl, who has the perfect stomach. like she is HAWWT! i felt like asking her..HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT FIT?' but thought that..i might seem a bit weird.
'dont wish for it, work for it jenny'..i kept telling myself :/
how is everyone?
Thursday 29 July 2010
Thursday 22 July 2010
school was long and boring yesterday. i smoked a lot. i have new smoking buddies now, and we smoke together. i was discussing with one of my new friends as to why we started to smoke. he said he staterd to lose weight. and it had worked for him cause he'd lost like 2 stone in a short time.
i said i didnt know why i started. because the truth is, i actually don't know why, or when i had my first ciggarette. i've been thinking about tellin my mum.
lol
she will kill me. or put me in a hospital bed.
my sister started smoking at this stage. now she and my mum smoke together. so why cant i?
oh yeah i'm the younger one who my mum is desparately trying to get everything right with which she didnt achieve with my older sister.
my older sister smoked to lose weight. she's 105 pounds.
my mum use to smoke to lose weight, her lowest was 99lbs.
so i am the fat one. i hate my life.
today i woke up to the worst period pains ever!! so i stayed home from school. i've eaten nothing all day. i've only had a few mints. 'i feel sick' is my excuse. its not even an excuse, its the truth, but still i will use it as an advantage to fast today. :)
i said i didnt know why i started. because the truth is, i actually don't know why, or when i had my first ciggarette. i've been thinking about tellin my mum.
lol
she will kill me. or put me in a hospital bed.
my sister started smoking at this stage. now she and my mum smoke together. so why cant i?
oh yeah i'm the younger one who my mum is desparately trying to get everything right with which she didnt achieve with my older sister.
my older sister smoked to lose weight. she's 105 pounds.
my mum use to smoke to lose weight, her lowest was 99lbs.
so i am the fat one. i hate my life.
today i woke up to the worst period pains ever!! so i stayed home from school. i've eaten nothing all day. i've only had a few mints. 'i feel sick' is my excuse. its not even an excuse, its the truth, but still i will use it as an advantage to fast today. :)
Tuesday 20 July 2010
sixthform is gettin more interesting.at lunch time, priya didnt have lunch. i asked why, she said she wasnt hungry. she's the smallest of all of us. ashley just had soup, he's big and muscly. maz had nothing, and neither did filo. pirate had a salad. i had pea soup.
whats happening to my friends?
i am actually starting to feel uncomfortable. all we ever talk about is diets. at home, i choose not to eat so i can go tell them how much i didnt eat.
i think i'm at a plateau. havent lost weight in a week, just been at 134lbs.
arggg i hate myself!
tomorrow- ana diet. (see first post)
whats happening to my friends?
i am actually starting to feel uncomfortable. all we ever talk about is diets. at home, i choose not to eat so i can go tell them how much i didnt eat.
i think i'm at a plateau. havent lost weight in a week, just been at 134lbs.
arggg i hate myself!
tomorrow- ana diet. (see first post)
Monday 19 July 2010
the day after the fast went very well. it was my little sister's 10th birthday, i managed to make it through the day with just a bowl of oats. and ..well no cake at all! :)
umm, i did drown myself in tea though.
umm on sunday, i ate like 5 bowls of cornfalkes with water, no milk, no sugar. i felt it was a binge, but i avoided any unhealthiness. and trust me, the chocolate cake left over from the day before was callin to me.
i badly wanted to weigh myself, but i've realised that whenever i wiegh myself, i binge. and if i dont know the number, i do much better.
so today, i woke up, ate cornflakes with water..no milk no sugar.
that was a mistake!
whenever i eat breakfast, i tend to over eat during the day. so today for lunch i had soe vegetable soup and some bread.
then had a lollipop. then came home and had more cornflakes..2 bowls infact.
i know its not much for a whole day, but i panicked and had a whole bag of sweets :(
so now i'm sitting here, contemplatin what to do. i'm to lazy to exercise...although i probs will get in 30mins of aerobics before bed. and also i have school tomorrow so i cant take any laxies.
:( :(
ok tomorrow is a liquid fast day...no changes allowed.
umm, i did drown myself in tea though.
umm on sunday, i ate like 5 bowls of cornfalkes with water, no milk, no sugar. i felt it was a binge, but i avoided any unhealthiness. and trust me, the chocolate cake left over from the day before was callin to me.
i badly wanted to weigh myself, but i've realised that whenever i wiegh myself, i binge. and if i dont know the number, i do much better.
so today, i woke up, ate cornflakes with water..no milk no sugar.
that was a mistake!
whenever i eat breakfast, i tend to over eat during the day. so today for lunch i had soe vegetable soup and some bread.
then had a lollipop. then came home and had more cornflakes..2 bowls infact.
i know its not much for a whole day, but i panicked and had a whole bag of sweets :(
so now i'm sitting here, contemplatin what to do. i'm to lazy to exercise...although i probs will get in 30mins of aerobics before bed. and also i have school tomorrow so i cant take any laxies.
:( :(
ok tomorrow is a liquid fast day...no changes allowed.
Friday 16 July 2010
the fast has gone very well. i feel weird, i havent completed one in ages. i ussually find a reson to eat. i'm blogging now because i'm reaally tempted to make some oats.
i want oats! but i must not. i'm scared if i leave my room, then i will make it without knowing, unconsiously. so i am distracting myself.
ashely just quit on me. all day he kept moaning about how hungry he was, but yet he refused to eat. he just texted me now saying 'what we're doing is really bad, i think i'm gonna eat now'
i replied 'umm, no its not unhealthy, doctors even recomend fasting once every few months. you're even meant to do up to a week. but please if you're hungry you should defo eat. dont worry, we'll try another fast in a while ;)'
he replied, that he's starting the weight watcher system tomorrow. 'a diet where i can eat'.
okay my craving is over. i think the thought of my friend not being able to stay without food for a few hours sort of motivated me.
my other friend filo didnt eat all day, and she just texted me tellin me taht she has lost 4lbs in 3 days. (i am jealous)
my other friend pirate is doing weihgt watchers. she's allowed 22 points and all day she's only had like 6. - (600 cals)
tomorrows plan is in the last post. i cannot get left behind.
i want oats! but i must not. i'm scared if i leave my room, then i will make it without knowing, unconsiously. so i am distracting myself.
ashely just quit on me. all day he kept moaning about how hungry he was, but yet he refused to eat. he just texted me now saying 'what we're doing is really bad, i think i'm gonna eat now'
i replied 'umm, no its not unhealthy, doctors even recomend fasting once every few months. you're even meant to do up to a week. but please if you're hungry you should defo eat. dont worry, we'll try another fast in a while ;)'
he replied, that he's starting the weight watcher system tomorrow. 'a diet where i can eat'.
okay my craving is over. i think the thought of my friend not being able to stay without food for a few hours sort of motivated me.
my other friend filo didnt eat all day, and she just texted me tellin me taht she has lost 4lbs in 3 days. (i am jealous)
my other friend pirate is doing weihgt watchers. she's allowed 22 points and all day she's only had like 6. - (600 cals)
tomorrows plan is in the last post. i cannot get left behind.
Thursday 15 July 2010
obsessions
ok so today we talked about diets in school.
backstory: mazhar lost 3 and a half stone in 3 months. we are all jealous, i can tell. straight after he went skinny, we all of a sudden joined the gym. i have since lost one and a half sone.
i am jealous of him, i want to lose how much he has lost. my other friend weighs slightly less than me, we use to weigh exactly the same, now she's less than me.
my friend ashley who i am talkin to right now on facebook wants to lose weight. so we have decided to starve together and keep it from everyone else. we have made a bet, whoever loses more in a month gets £1.50 from the loser.
ok so not much really, but hey motivation is motivation.
my mum keeps cooking food, it annoyin. then she keeps giving me tips, of how eating nothing but fruits will help and fuck shit!
ugh!
i'm fasting tomorow..well today with ashley. if i cant go the whole day, i have to pay ash. :/
on sat ima do this :
backstory: mazhar lost 3 and a half stone in 3 months. we are all jealous, i can tell. straight after he went skinny, we all of a sudden joined the gym. i have since lost one and a half sone.
i am jealous of him, i want to lose how much he has lost. my other friend weighs slightly less than me, we use to weigh exactly the same, now she's less than me.
my friend ashley who i am talkin to right now on facebook wants to lose weight. so we have decided to starve together and keep it from everyone else. we have made a bet, whoever loses more in a month gets £1.50 from the loser.
ok so not much really, but hey motivation is motivation.
my mum keeps cooking food, it annoyin. then she keeps giving me tips, of how eating nothing but fruits will help and fuck shit!
ugh!
i'm fasting tomorow..well today with ashley. if i cant go the whole day, i have to pay ash. :/
on sat ima do this :
The Ana Diet
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